when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
