i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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