I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
