just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
