i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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