Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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