You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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