ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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