The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
