I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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