spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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