I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize