I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
