youre lurking in front of me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
