Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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