i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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