do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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