Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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