are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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