can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
