wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
