Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
