you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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