Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Randomize
