I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
