We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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