dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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