I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We left an ass print on the piano.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize