its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
