I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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