I hate all girls vehemently.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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