You're a womanizer and a bitch.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
