well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
