I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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