Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
