what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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