I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
