I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
