bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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