in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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