i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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