is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
