I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
