clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
