I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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