Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
