Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
