It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
