Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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