i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
