his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize