Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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