His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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