porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How does it feel to date your dad?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
