yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize