Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
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