I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The ass gains better be worth it
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