The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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