Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
