Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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