You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
