she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
