There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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