I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize