I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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