A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
