I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
