i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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