No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
