and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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