But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
